My Dad was an amazing human being. He and my Mom split up when I was only 3 years old and my little brother was 2. Here is what I know to be true. It’s not the amount of time you spend with someone it’s the quality of time that you spend with them. My dad always gave me 100% of his attention when we were together. He made me feel like I was valued. The year I went to college he started sending me care packages of the art work I had given him years before as a child on the same holiday. One Valentine’s Day I received a Valentine’s card I created for him when I was five or six years old. My dad saved these special things all these years and had not even mentioned them and then one day out of the blue just surprised me with them. Again he made me feel so valued.
He also wrote me the most heartfelt letters. What really stands out to me is that he would sign everything that he wrote by saying “I am so proud of you.” I still get goosebumps just thinking about how those words made me feel.
My dad was an extraordinary man who had meningitis when he was 19 then diagnosed with cancer early in life yet never complained, whined or displayed a bad mood. His demeanor was kind, soft and loving. Dad would look me straight in the eyes and get teared up. Again, he made me feel so valued. He created rituals that were extra special – like eating pizza bagels for breakfast. Just the two of us.
When I was in college I took a class on death and dying. I actually asked him to help me write a term paper for that class. Little did I know a few years later when I turned 26, just two weeks after I was married, he would pass. I always sensed that the death and dying project we worked on together was a way to prepare for his passing.
My dad was the most extraordinary man. I remember those last couple years when he was very ill. Somehow he never seemed to complain or get frustrated or show any signs of worry. Again, he always made me feel safe, valued and loved, always. The day of his funeral, I had the strongest sense of calm in every cell of my body. I felt his comfort and his presence all around me. I felt his love, his protection, and his support. What I know to be true is it that he is still here, right now.
My Dad was and still is an Epic Dad.